Oooooookay, so how's it going you wonder? Well, this would be the spot where I brag a little.
I have now been totally laxative free for 12 weeks. I had intended to have lost about 10 kilo's by now - but thanks to the little relapses, and the severe oedema at the beginning, that hasn't happened.
But here's the good news - I have managed to lose five kilo's (five to go) and I'm not distraught. Previousy I would have had conniptions if I didn't lose massive amounts overnight.
And I am running every day!! Yes, the girl who got knackered running to the loo in the morning is now jogging/walking five k's every day. I have only missed about four days in the past three months, and even I am in shock. I mean, who knew, right?
Even when I was out fishing last weekend I was compaining 'cos it was perfect jogging weather. So what did I do? Came home and went for a run, that's what. I know, I know. You're shocked. Me too.
Life goes on, and more importantly MY life goes on, and I intend to fully participate in it!!
Jude x
Monday, June 27, 2011
Sunday, May 29, 2011
Mystery solved
I have solved the 'Great Bloating Mystery'. Okay, so it's the laxatives! Yeah, I know right? Seems there's such a thing as 'rebound oedema', which usually kicks in shortly after giving up laxatives. I started swelling up about a week after I started my new healthy regimen. How did I make the link, you ask?
Well, I was soooo good for three weeks; the weight started dropping and I was improving. Then Bart returned home from NZ and filled the house with all his contraband - foods that I love, but are bad for me.
I started picking at the biscuits etc (eating disorders are like drinking problems; temptation is a killer) and what did I do? Yup, I panicked and purchased some more laxatives to purge myself. But then 'Good Judi' kicked in; I felt guilty, and threw them out. And again, one week later, my body started to swell. THAT'S when I made the connection! Brilliant huh? So it seems my weakness led to a discovery, and now that I know what will happen next time, I am even more determined to learn new habits.
I am back on my programme; still walking/jogging an hour each day, and sticking to proteins and veg/salads. I have eight more kilo's to go before I am where I would like to be, (still a bit of bloating to lose) but my attitude is changed. The guilt is gone. I appreciate my health, and will not abuse it again.
I will keep blogging as the days go by - I am excited now about my future without an eating disorder!!
With love,
Judi x
Well, I was soooo good for three weeks; the weight started dropping and I was improving. Then Bart returned home from NZ and filled the house with all his contraband - foods that I love, but are bad for me.
I started picking at the biscuits etc (eating disorders are like drinking problems; temptation is a killer) and what did I do? Yup, I panicked and purchased some more laxatives to purge myself. But then 'Good Judi' kicked in; I felt guilty, and threw them out. And again, one week later, my body started to swell. THAT'S when I made the connection! Brilliant huh? So it seems my weakness led to a discovery, and now that I know what will happen next time, I am even more determined to learn new habits.
I am back on my programme; still walking/jogging an hour each day, and sticking to proteins and veg/salads. I have eight more kilo's to go before I am where I would like to be, (still a bit of bloating to lose) but my attitude is changed. The guilt is gone. I appreciate my health, and will not abuse it again.
I will keep blogging as the days go by - I am excited now about my future without an eating disorder!!
With love,
Judi x
Wednesday, May 4, 2011
Holding strong
latest update (sorry for the delay).
My weight has gone down from 78 to 65 kilo's, so the fluid pills are working. Slowly. Only 5 more kilo's to go until I am back at the weight I was before I started bloating. Damn., damn, damn.
Good news: the kidneys and liver and both stopped leaking proteins into my system so that is sooo good. The leaking of protein is a real problem if you want to, um, live. They were talking about dialysis at one stage! I think the revamping of my diet has been a major factor. I run for an hour each day and the diet is strictly 'lean and clean', (only chicken or salmon with rocket or veg). Blus I have an oatbran porride for breakfast, (taken from the Dukan diet). Which leads to another very important point: I have now been off the laxatives for 4 weeks and 4 days! I am sooooo proud of me! I truly never thought that after 30 years of continual abuse I could stop. Usually if I bloated up, I would panic and skull up to 70 laxatives. By morning, problem solved.
Only one more test to go: the endocrinologist. On a waiting list for that. Hopefully they can clear up the last of 'The great bloating mystery'.
Jude x
My weight has gone down from 78 to 65 kilo's, so the fluid pills are working. Slowly. Only 5 more kilo's to go until I am back at the weight I was before I started bloating. Damn., damn, damn.
Good news: the kidneys and liver and both stopped leaking proteins into my system so that is sooo good. The leaking of protein is a real problem if you want to, um, live. They were talking about dialysis at one stage! I think the revamping of my diet has been a major factor. I run for an hour each day and the diet is strictly 'lean and clean', (only chicken or salmon with rocket or veg). Blus I have an oatbran porride for breakfast, (taken from the Dukan diet). Which leads to another very important point: I have now been off the laxatives for 4 weeks and 4 days! I am sooooo proud of me! I truly never thought that after 30 years of continual abuse I could stop. Usually if I bloated up, I would panic and skull up to 70 laxatives. By morning, problem solved.
Only one more test to go: the endocrinologist. On a waiting list for that. Hopefully they can clear up the last of 'The great bloating mystery'.
Jude x
Tuesday, April 26, 2011
Day 23
After two weeks of endless needles, blood tests, scans and echocardiograms the doctors still don't have an answer.
Just the urine test to come back, then it's off to the endocrinologist. Nobody knows why my weight went from 61 to 78 kilo's in five days!! I still think it's hormonal...
Good news on two fronts: diet and exercise. First, diet. Previously whenever I tried to eat 'normally' and weight crept on, I would totally panic and swallow up to 60 laxatives. But now I am retraining myself. I am starting with proteins, then slowly introducing greens and wholgrain breads and some fruit. I am LOVING it, and so happy to have a solution to my problem. Pity the 'experts' at the hospital at the eating disorders clinic didn't try to be more proactive in this area...
Secondly the exercise. I am still walking/jogging for an hour EVERY day. Only missed three days when my feet were too sore to stand on, let alone walk. I had to force myself outside on my sore legs, but I figured I never took my cancer lying down, so I wan't going to take this lying down either.
Onwards and upwards!
Just the urine test to come back, then it's off to the endocrinologist. Nobody knows why my weight went from 61 to 78 kilo's in five days!! I still think it's hormonal...
Good news on two fronts: diet and exercise. First, diet. Previously whenever I tried to eat 'normally' and weight crept on, I would totally panic and swallow up to 60 laxatives. But now I am retraining myself. I am starting with proteins, then slowly introducing greens and wholgrain breads and some fruit. I am LOVING it, and so happy to have a solution to my problem. Pity the 'experts' at the hospital at the eating disorders clinic didn't try to be more proactive in this area...
Secondly the exercise. I am still walking/jogging for an hour EVERY day. Only missed three days when my feet were too sore to stand on, let alone walk. I had to force myself outside on my sore legs, but I figured I never took my cancer lying down, so I wan't going to take this lying down either.
Onwards and upwards!
Monday, April 18, 2011
Day 15 - hangin' in there
Oookay, so I went for another walk today. Still hurts. My feet are so swollen I could barely get my running shoes on and the pressure on the instep is painful. Even tried running. That felt weird. I could feel all of the excess fluid flopping around, and my legs felt heavy. At one point I could see rain clouds hovering nearby. That's all I needed; more water! But I was feeling good about things; that is until I walked into the newsagents. He looked up and shouted, "OH MY GOD, WHAT'S HAPPENED TO YOUR FACE!" Must say, that was not a highlight. After looking at the results of my brain scan, the doctor declared that yes, I do have a brain. He chortled as though he had just created a new, brilliant joke. Still puzzled about why I am nearly double my own body weight, so two more tests this week. I will continue to eat healthfully and exercise every day. I am determined to carry on with my original programme and change my habits. Good news; for the first time in thirty years I have not had any laxatives for 15 days! Whee! Go me! Liver and kidney failure was NOT brought up in discussion in the ballet school. Who knew! If only bulimics knew the end effect, I'm sure they would change their mind quick smart... Jude x
Friday, April 15, 2011
And the tests keep 'acomin'
Sat around today looking at my sore, swollen legs, then thought, "Damn it I'm not going down without a fight," so I pulled on pair of tracky-daks and a LARGE T-shirt and went for an hour's walk. Bloody hurt too, but I did it.
Got a brain scan tomorrow, 'cos they can't explain the headaches, nor the numbness on the left side of my face.
I'm gonna release a new Barbie doll. A doll for the over 50's. I will call her "Bloated Barbie."
Jude x
Got a brain scan tomorrow, 'cos they can't explain the headaches, nor the numbness on the left side of my face.
I'm gonna release a new Barbie doll. A doll for the over 50's. I will call her "Bloated Barbie."
Jude x
Thursday, April 14, 2011
Some good news; no sign in my abdomen or chest area of any spread of cancer, so that is one thing less to worry about. I have been booked for an echocardiogram next Thursday. I'm still convinced I had a stroke last year in NZ, so this will answer a lot of questions - for me anyway.
More blood tests next week (when my arms have recovered from the last lot)to double- check the liver and kidney results...
Methinks it could be the shock of coming off the laxatives, so we'll see, huh?
But I am determined to live the right way from now on; like my friend said while we were out walking last week, "Well, Judes you've tried everything except diet and exercise to keep the weight off..."
It's been so long since I lived a 'normal life', that I hardly know what it feels like now.
Funny how anorexics and bulimics can give the impression of normality - to everyone but themselves....
Jude x
More blood tests next week (when my arms have recovered from the last lot)to double- check the liver and kidney results...
Methinks it could be the shock of coming off the laxatives, so we'll see, huh?
But I am determined to live the right way from now on; like my friend said while we were out walking last week, "Well, Judes you've tried everything except diet and exercise to keep the weight off..."
It's been so long since I lived a 'normal life', that I hardly know what it feels like now.
Funny how anorexics and bulimics can give the impression of normality - to everyone but themselves....
Jude x
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